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IELTS writing practice: Task 1 & 2 - Self-assessment & Sample answers 본문

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IELTS writing practice: Task 1 & 2 - Self-assessment & Sample answers

꾸로 (gguro) 2016.07.13 14:52


IELTS writing practice: Task 1 & 2 - Self-assessment & Sample answers (General Training Module)

IELTS writing practice never stops. Haha. Actually, I really want to stop posting about IELTS. :(


The text I used for this practice.


Information of the IELTS book

Title: Focusing on IELTS: Reading and writing skills, 2nd Ed.

Authors: Jeremy Lindeck, Jannette Greenwood, and Kerry O'Sullivan

Publisher: MacMillan






1. Task 1


1.1 Task

You should spend 20 minutes on this task.

You are organising a graduation party for your class and you want to book a restaurant.

Write a letter to the manager of your favourite restaurant. In the letter

- explain the reason for the party and the date and time it will be held

- describe some particular food you would like served

- say how many people will be attending and what their dietary requirement are.

Write at least 150 words.

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear Sir/Madam,



1.2 My writing

Dear Sir/Madam,


   I am writing to request a booking for a dinner party.

   I am organising a party to celebrate the graduation of students in Physics at Melbourne University. The preferred date is Saturday 16 July because the term ends on Friday the same week. We are planning to have the party from 6pm to 9pm. There will be about 10 to 13 people to come, and obviously they are all adults, so there will be no problem to be served with alcohols. 

   Regarding to the foods, I would like you to have Bibimbap in a hot pot along with other Asian foods, because it is personally my favourite and I know it is one of the specialties of your restaurant. There are some concerns about foods I need to inform you. Two of the students have allergies for dairy products, and one of us is a strict vegetarian. Therefore, please put proper labels on dishes if they include any milk, and prepare one pot of Bibimbap for vegetarian.

   I appreciate your consideration on the reservation for the party, and please let me know this arrangement on the suggested date is available. Additionally, do not hesitate to contact me, if you need further information.


Yours sincerely,

Alan


1.3 Correction

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to request a booking for a dinner party.

   I am organising a party to celebrate the graduation of students in Physics at Melbourne University. The preferred date is Saturday 16 July because the term ends on Friday the same week. We are planning to have the party from 6 pm to 9 pm. There will be about 10 to 13 people to come, and obviously they are all adults, so there will be no problem to be served with alcohols. 

   Regarding to the foods, I would like you to have Bibimbap in a hot pot to be served along with other Asian foods, because it is personally my favourite and I know it is one of the specialties of your restaurant. Furthermore, there are some concerns about foods I need to inform you in advance. Two of the students have allergies for dairy products, and one of us is a strict vegetarian. Therefore, please put proper labels on dishes if they include any milk, and prepare one pot of Bibimbap for vegetarian.

   I appreciate your consideration on the reservation for the party, and please let me know if this arrangement on the suggested date is available. Additionally, do not hesitate to contact me, if you need further information.

Yours sincerely,


1.4 Assessment

Words: 204 (> 150)

Comments: I think it is fairly well written with minor errors.

No indent for the first line of the first paragraph. And no line space between the greeting and the next paragraph, and between the last paragraph and the ending. A space needs to be inserted between the time and am (or pm). No need to put the name after Yours sincerely.


1.5 Sample answer in the book

Dear Sir or Madam,

I would like to ask about the possibility of booking your restaurant on the 31st March for our IELTS graduation party. The party is a celebration of us getting the results we needed in an important examination. If it is possible, we would like to hold the party at 9.30 pm. Altogether, we will be a group of 19 people: 18 students and our teacher.

   Last time I came to your restaurant, I particularly enjoyed the roast chicken. I have also heard that the seafood is recommended. I wonder if it would be possible to have them as set dishes? We would also like a cake to present to our teacher.

   Finally, I would like to know if it is possible to prepare special vegetarian meals, as three of the guests do not eat meat.

   I look forward to hearing from you as soon as possible.

Yours faithfully

Words: 152 (> 150)

Comments: The last sentence can be memorised to be used in many situations. 



2. Task 2


2.1 Task

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.


Write about the following topic:

Many people have complained about the large salaries paid to top executives of major companies.

Why do you think top executives are so well paid?

Do you think their large salaries are justified?


Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Write at least 250 words.



2.2 My writing


   Various level of employment exist particularly in big companies, and accordingly the salaries vary for different employees. As some top managers obtain incomparably high salaries, many people complain about the huge difference which they believe unnecessary. In this essay, I will discuss what makes the difference in the payment and conclude with my opinion.

   First of all, most of CEOs of major coperations have profound knowledge on their businesses with significant experience in the relevant fields. These understandings make them available to lead their firms to the right direction.

   Secondly, it is the top level managers that take the responsibilities for the outcomes of the companies. For instance, they are the ones who will be blamed if the revenues of the companies drop from the previous quarter of the financial year. Therefore, it can be considered that the difference in salary comes from the difference in responsibility.

   Still people will argue that the actual working hours are nearly identical whatever works they do. In addition, most of the practical works are completed by lower level employees, while the higher level executives sign on the reports. 

   In fact, their arguments are based on the truth. However, the significance of the decisions made by CEOs is noticeable and the consequent responsibilities are substantial.

   In conclusion, I believe the the difference in their salaries as top managers can be justified considering the expertise with experiences and responsibilities following their decisions.


2.3 Correction

Various levels of employment exist particularly in big considerable companies, and accordingly the salaries vary for different employees. As some top managers obtain incomparably high salaries, many people complain about the huge immense difference among workers which they believe unnecessary. In this essay, I will would like to discuss what makes the difference in the payment and conclude with my opinion.

   First of all, most of CEOs chief executive officers of major coperations corporations have profound knowledge on their businesses with significant experience in the relevant fields. These understandings make them available to lead their firms to the right direction.

   Secondly, it is the top level managers that take the responsibilities for the outcomes of the companies. For instance, they are the ones who will be blamed if the revenues of the companies drop from the previous quarter of the financial year. Sometimes they have to resign from their positions as a result of their decisions. Therefore, it can be considered that the difference in salary comes from the difference in responsibility.

   Still people will argue that the actual working hours are nearly identical to those of general employees whatever works they do. In addition, most of the practical works are completed by lower level employees, while the higher level executives sign on the reports. 

   In fact, their arguments are based on the truth. However, the significance of the decisions made by CEOs chief executives is noticeable and the consequent subsequent responsibilities are substantial.

   In conclusion, I believe the that the difference in their salaries as top managers can be justified considering their expertise with experiences and responsibilities following commitment to their decisions.



2.4 Assessment

Words: 237 (< 250)
Comments:

I had 6 lines left unfilled in the answer sheet and the word counts were less than minimum. It means that I should fill the answer sheet till the very last line, otherwise there will be a chance for my writing to be lack of words. 

Furthermore, the writing has frequent grammatical errors which disturb the flow of reading. The corrected version looks much better. 

No indent for the first line of the first paragraph.


2.5 Sample answer in the book

The global financial crisis has highlighted the salaries paid to top executives of major international companies. At a time when many multinational companies have been struggling, it is impossible to justify the salaries their leaders are paid.

   There are two reasons why top executives' salaries have increased so rapidly over the past 30 years. First, companies believe they pay enormous salaries in order to attract the best person for the job. In the past, companies have believed that the right person in the job can solve all a company's problems. These salaries are negotiated by recruitment agents who take a commission on the salary paid and therefore have an interest in making sure the top executive gets a large salary. Second, the directors appointing top executives are often from a similar background and are naturally sympathetic to their salary demands. 

   It is hard to justify top executives being paid 70 or 80 times more than the average salary. This is particularly true when their decisions may have often led to failure. The public is rightly upset when a top executive is paid a major bonus even though the company they run has mad a loss that year and many of the employees have lost their jobs.Companies such as Qantas and Telstra paid increased salaries to top executives who were freezing employee wages and making redundancies.

   Although top executives have highly responsible jobs, their work is useless without the support of the employees. Therefore, they should be paid in proportion to the salaries of the people they control.

Words: 257 (> 250)

Comments: I don't think this answer is addressing the task properly. The second paragraph, in particular, does not seem quite relevant. Well, this paragraph is trying to answer the question, "Why do you think top executives are so well paid?" Probably my understanding of the task is not correct.


3. Conclusion

I had 5 minutes left when I completed both writings. Usually it takes longer than 20 minutes to write task 1 so I have to finish writing task 2 in less than 40 minutes. Maybe I should memorise some expressions to reduce the writing time.


13 July 2016
gguro



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