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IELTS Writing practice. General training module. Task 1: Self-assessment 본문

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IELTS Writing practice. General training module. Task 1: Self-assessment

꾸로 (gguro) 2016.05.16 11:30





IELTS Writing practice. General training module. Task 1

: Self-assessment according to the officially provided band descriptors



Last time I once wrote about IELTS writing practice (see the blog post). I am continuing the writing practice, so I post one more time. This post is my practice for Task 1 in General training module of IELTS. The book I used for this practice is "Focusing on IELTS: General Training Practice Test (with answer key), 2nd edition," by Michael Clutterbuck and Philip Gould published by Macmillan.


Writing Task 1

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. 


You recently changed jobs, and you want to tell a person who you used to work with about your change of job.

Write a letter to that person. In your letter:


- describe your new job

- explain whether you think it was a good idea to change jobs

- suggest that you meet again soon.


Write at least 150 words.

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:


Dear ...,




Here is my writing.

(First written by hand and then typed)


Dear Denny,


   I have been working at RMIT university for 2 months, and I am satisfied with the job. The work I am doing here is pretty much same as those I was doing at CSIRO for last 2 years, except that now I focus more on the nanofabrication than the optical characterization. 


  With regards to changing jobs I think there are some advantages we can get even though it is hard to adapt the new environment at the new workplace. For instance, we can learn some skills that we might not have a chance to be trained if we stayed in one position. In addition, if we are lucky enough, then we can be promoted more quickly by moving to another employer than by trying to obtain excellent assessment results at the end of every year. However, one important risk you should keep in mind is that we can easily have performance disruption because usually it takes time to make some significant outputs in a new place.


   By the way, I'd like to talk to you about my recent change more face to face. Can we have lunch on next Monday near CSIRO, for example at the Vietnamese restaurant we used to go together? Please let me know, then I will book the table there.


  I wish all the best for you.


Sincerely,

Alan





Self-corrected version


Dear Denny,


I thought I'd like to let you know how I have been doing recently.


  As you know, I quit the job at CSIRO and moved to I have been working at RMIT university about for 2 months ago, and I am satisfied with the new job. The work I am doing here is pretty much same as those I was doing at CSIRO for last 2 years, except that now I focus more on the nanofabrication than the optical characterization. 


  With regards to changing jobs I think there are some advantages we can get even though it is hard to adapt the new environment at the new workplace. For instance, we can learn some skills that we might not have a chance to be trained if we stayed in one position. In addition, if we are lucky enough, then we can be promoted more quickly by moving to another employer than by trying to obtain excellent assessment results at the end of every year. However, one important risk we you should keep in mind is that we can easily have performance a disruption because usually it takes time to make some significant outputs in a new place.


   By the way, I'd like to talk to you about my recent change more face to face. Can we have lunch on next Monday near CSIRO, for example at the Vietnamese restaurant we used to go together? Please let me know if you're available, then I will book the table there. Hope to see you soon.


  I wish all the best for you.


Sincerely,

Alan



Self-assessment (with the version before correction)


0. Number of words: 225


A. Task achievement - Band 6


- addresses the requirement of the task

- presents a purpose that is generally clear; there may be inconsistencies in tone

- presents and adequately highlights key features/ bullet points but details may be irrelevant, inappropriate or inaccurate


comment: I think my writing may be assessed as band 6 in this criterion because the very first sentence is not directly presenting the purpose of the letter. So I add one more sentence in the corrected version. And the tone is slightly inconsistent in the second paragraph because it looks like lecturing to a friend (which often occurs in a real situation though). 



B. Coherence and cohesion - Band 7


- logically organises information and ideas; there is clear progression throughout

- uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use


comment: I think my writing may be assessed as band 7 in this criterion because the ideas are logically organised and a range of cohesive devices are used appropriately. 



C. Lexical resources - Band 8


- uses a wide range of vocabulary fluently and flexibly to convey precise meanings

- skilfully uses uncommon lexical items but there may be occasional inaccuracies in word choice and collocation

- produces rare errors in spelling and/or word formation


comment: I know I am generous to myself but anyway I did good enough to use a wide range of vocabulary with rare errors in spelling and word formation.



D. Grammatical range and accuracy - Band 6


- uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms

- makes some errors in grammar and punctuation but they rarely reduce communication


comment: I found some grammatical errors so I give band 6 for this criterion. 



Overall for writing task 1: Band 6.75 


comment: In order to improve the band score for writing task 1, I think I should directly present the purpose of the letter in the very first sentence, and try to reduce grammatical errors. 







Then, let's look at the sample response provided by the practice book.

Sample response (from the book)


Dear Mary,


I thought I'd drop you a line to let you know what I've been up to since I left the clinic.


  You remember I said I needed to have a change? Well, I got a job working part-time in a cafe not far from my place. I make coffee, take customers' orders, serve food and drinks, make sandwiches and do some cleaning up.


  It's hectic at times in the cafe, but nowhere near as stressful as nursing work. I miss being able to help sick people and I'd prefer a nurse's wage, but I don't miss the unpaid overtime and masses of paperwork. Working part-time means that now I'm doing a lot of the things I enjoy that I didn't have the time or energy for before, so I really don't regret switching jobs. And anyway, if I really feel the urge I can go back to nursing one day.


  And what about you? I'd love to have a long chat with you and the others. Perhaps we could have a meal one night after work. Hope to see you soon.


Yours,

Anne


NOTES on the sample response (from the book)


Following the conventions of letter-writing, this letter commences with a greeting (Dear Mary,) and ends with a formulation and signature (Yours, Anne).


  The tone is conversational, informal and friendly (this is reflected in expressions such as drop you a line, what I've been up to, masses of paperwork, a long chat), as it is a letter from one person to a workmate who she seems to have got along well with.


  In an informal letter such as this, some contractions have been used instead of full words; for example, I'd instead of I would and don't instead of do not. With this task, it would be possible to write in a more formal style to a former workmate or someone who you were not so close to, such as a former supervisor.


  The first paragraph briefly explains the purpose of the letter, the second gives details about the new job, the third discusses whether changing jobs was a good decision, and the fourth suggests that they meet.


  There are 185 words





If you want to know more about how writing module is assessed, the check this official IELTS website to see the assessment criteria. There are band descriptors provided in pdf file format. I used these band descriptors to self-assess my writing.



16 May 2016

gguro




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